A Letter to My Fat Pants

Dear Fat Pants,
You have been a constant source of comfort for some time now.  You, with your wide legs and comfortable waistband;  me, with my ever expanding body.  We once fit so well together.  But I have finally built up the nerve to confront you.  I believe, (sniff) it is time that we part.  We are no longer good for each other.  I must admit to you that I've found another pair that is more flattering for me.  I bid you farewell, and good riddance.